Harley Burton

Baby eve

Saturday 10th Jan Baby eve was a bit of a shock pregnancy after being diagnosed stage 4 endometriosis and awaiting surgery told i would never have more children although we fell pregnant  we had initial scans which didnt show anything different at first them when we went for an emergency scan at what we thought was 12 weeks we found out our daughter had a problem a terminal diagnosis she had anencephaly this means she was missing the top of her head from her eyes back i couldnt believe the diagnosis and struggled alot with making the only choice that was right a medical termination knowing id have to go through labour we saw our family one last time on my return i knew i had to go in a further scan one last chance to say goodbye and sorry for what i was about to do we saw eve was much bigger and u could see where her skull had not formed this was where she was also diagnosed as having amniotic band syndrome this was my deciding factor the next day i took the meds went back the day after on my own as my husband had my son for me i had my daughter i bled out again i needed emergency surgery i came out finding i had a heart attack and lost alot of blood my husband worrying at home i called him while in the phone on FaceTime i suffered another heart attack when all was sorted i come round to my husband and his mum coming to my bed side realising id been truly lucky to survive everything but bought a great deal of issues for the next week i was in alot of pain when i went back to the hospital i was rushed for emergency surgery again i had retained product when i came round again the drs asked alot of questions deciding ultimately i should go into early menapause no more chances of children but instead to live for my son the grief hit me all at once and i sobbed for ages before being told they think i was having struggles coping again luckily i had some really good family and some really good friends sands helped so much come to terms with how i felt about myself  Share

Baby freyja

Saturday 10th Jan Baby freyja was born early at 22 weeks old she survived fighting in my arms for 13 minutes before slowly passing away i bled out and ended in emergency theatre i can round destressed badly to later find out i suffer cptsd sands have massively helped me cope with flash backs due to this Share