Hari’s mama

Hari’s story

I’m running to raise money for sands due to being a recently bereaved parent - the support available has been incredible, some days are easier than others but exercising will get me in a good headspace and hopefully raise some money at the same time!

I went into preterm labour at 23+5 weeks, I was blue lighted from East Surrey to St Peter’s Hospital and with the help of the midwifery team delayed giving birth until 24+1 weeks.

Hari came into this world on the 18/12/25. His due date was 08/04/26, but instead we had a Christmas baby. 

Hari was just 600g born, but came out breathing on his own and even let out a little cry, this just shows us his strength and resilience.

He managed his own ventilation for just under 24 hours, then needed intubation and ventilation to take over his breathing and let him rest, which I expected to happen immediately from birth. After being intubated, X-rays unfortunately showed free air below his diaphragm, meaning he would likely need surgery. He also had two small bleeds - common in babies of his gestation and could resolve.

We were blue lighted from St Peter’s Friday night to St George’s and he had surgery Saturday morning which bought us some extra time. 

Unfortunately, Hari had NEC, 2cm of bowel was removed during surgery, and at less than 2 days old he had a stoma formed. His lungs were also very underdeveloped because of his gestation, despite the steroids received before birth and on top of this, his bleeds

had progressed, one grade 2 and one grade 4 due to the strain of surgery.

We cherished every moment that we were gifted with our little man, got him registered on Christmas Eve and had the best Christmas Day sat next to his incubator, reading him stories and opening his stocking.

Christmas night I got to hold Hari for the first time, a feeling I can’t really put into words. I was just happy and peaceful. Getting to hold my baby and Vijays hand at the same time I’d get this rush of emotions, this is my family. We made this, we created life and Hari gets to hear every day how much we love each other and how much we love him.

We couldn’t have asked for a better NICU team to look after Hari and care for us as new parents too! It really makes you remember why the NHS is amazing, we were give somewhere to stay within the hospital once I was discharged and got to stay in a nearby hotel thanks to the first touch charity.

On the 27th, we were told there may be another perforation, but surgeons were unsure so we would just observe overnight. We expressed our wishes for Hari and decided if surgery was needed, that we wouldn’t put him through any more suffering. 

By the morning, it was confirmed. Hari had another bowel perforation, likely NEC returned. Myself and Vijay had always said comfort would always be a priority and with all of the risks of a second surgery and his co-morbidities, we decided comfort care would be best - the hardest decision to make because this meant saying goodbye to our baby.

🤍

On the 29th of December, we removed Hari’s breathing tube while he got to cuddle daddy and then took his final breaths on my chest while we read him “the story of us”. 

The most peaceful goodbye, just the three of us. Our little family. 

Life can be cruel, but we were gifted 11 days with our baby. Hari knew our voices. He knew love and he knew peace.

🤍

Nothing could prepare us for the two weeks we’d endured. The pain, the trauma and also the joy, all mixed into one. Hari lived for 11 days, and we are truly blessed to have been given that time with him.

Vijay has been my biggest supporter throughout and was at so many ward rounds he may as well have put on his scrubs. He really is the best daddy Hari could have asked for and I feel blessed to call him mine, he’s been keeping me afloat in my moments of sadness and grief and has always put my needs before his own.

Thank you for always keeping us in your thoughts and prayers and for all the support we’ve had from friends and family - we can’t thank you enough.