Samantha Eames

N-h-e

Thursday 24th Jul Had my 20 week scan looking forward to telling the kids if the baby was a boy or girl to be told the worse news my baby had spina bifida by the specialist I then went to Bristol to have a in-depth scan to be told more sad news how unwell and what he actually had and what life he had he had myelomeningocele and it was open at the bottom it broke me no life I literally done so much research and spoke to so many specialists etc emailed etc it was my worst nightmare I then was told I needed to make decisions so took me a long hard week to have to have a tmfr which was my nightmare and I hated myself and I broke I never felt so sad I couldn't stop crying I was so alone trying to be okay for 2 kids then deal with this was horrible. I then gave birth to my beautiful boy with all the stuff before I literally heard the song Adele and I literally cried and hugged my boy that we named Noah he was so beautiful we now go up and see him whenever and on his birthday I will never forget him he's so close to my sole I had lovely castings and a lovely box from sand from hospital they was amazing and he got to rest with all the other list babies I had some counselling but struggled with that I needed time and space if anything could break me this did so much. Just a little bit of what's I went through thank you  Share