Natalie Lane

In memory of Jamie Paul 💙

In November 2009, when I was 28 weeks pregnant, my world changed forever.

My little boy, Jamie Paul, was perfectly healthy. There had been no warning that anything was wrong. There was no explanation, no reason anyone could give us.

And then, somehow, his heart just stopped.

Nothing can prepare you for being told that your baby has died.

Jamie was my little boy. I had carried him for 28 weeks, loved him, imagined our life together and looked forward to bringing him home. Instead, I had to say goodbye before I had ever had the chance to watch him grow.

I did get to hold Jamie. I got to spend precious time with him after he had passed away. Those moments are incredibly difficult to put into words, but they are also moments I will always treasure. I got to see my beautiful boy, hold him close and say goodbye.

But I also had to leave the hospital without him.

That is a pain that never truly disappears. You learn to live alongside it. Life continues, years pass and families grow, but you never stop being a mum, and Jamie will always be my son.

Jamie may not have had the chance to grow up, but he is still very much part of our family. He has brothers and sisters who never got to know him, but his place in our family has never disappeared. He is remembered. He is loved. And he always will be.

That is why I am fundraising for SANDS.

SANDS supports families who experience the devastating loss of a baby, offering support and understanding at a time when life can feel completely shattered.

I know what it is like to have your whole world change in an instant. I know what it is like to leave hospital with empty arms when you should be bringing your baby home.

So this fundraiser is for Jamie.

For my beautiful little boy who should be 16 years old now.

For the 28 weeks I had with him, and the precious time I was given to hold him and say goodbye.

For the years of loving and missing him.

And for every family who has found themselves facing the same unimaginable loss.

I can’t change what happened to Jamie. I can’t give him back the life he should have had.

But I can keep his memory alive.

And I can help SANDS be there for another family when they need someone to understand.

For Jamie Paul — forever my baby, forever my son, forever loved and forever missed. 💙

If you are able to donate, no matter how small, I would be incredibly grateful. Every donation will help SANDS continue supporting families through the devastating loss of a baby.