Lauren Collie

I’m taking part in Sands Ribbon Run

Running for the babies we never got to meet

Recently, I experienced something I never thought I would have to go through — a miscarriage.

Although I was very early in my pregnancy, my baby was already so loved.

I had already imagined how I would tell my two children. I had thought about telling our friends and family and had started imagining what our lives would look like with another little person in them. In my heart, this baby already had a place in our family.

Then, suddenly, that future was gone.

The week that followed was one of the hardest weeks of my life. I cried constantly. I struggled to leave the house. I felt heartbroken, angry and, most of all, I blamed myself.

I couldn't stop thinking about the what ifs.

What if I'd done something differently?
What if I'd rested more?
What if I'd noticed something sooner?
What could I have done to keep my baby inside me?

I know now that blaming myself didn't change what happened, but when you're going through that pain, it's so difficult not to wonder whether there was something you could have done.

Earlier this year, I completed a 10K run for Cancer Research. That run was also incredibly personal. I dedicated it to my partner's uncle, a much-loved and deeply cared-for member of his family, who we sadly lost in February this year.

That run meant a lot to us, and it showed me that sometimes, when you're hurting, you can turn that pain into something meaningful.

So now I'm taking on another 10K — but this time, it's for my own loss.

I'm running for the babies we never got to meet, never got to hold, and never got the chance to watch grow.

I'm running for the mums, dads and families who have experienced the unimaginable loss of their baby, whether that loss happened early in pregnancy or much later.

For the parents who had already chosen names.

For the families who had already imagined birthdays, Christmases, first days at school and all the little moments they would share.

For the mums who carried their babies but never got to bring them home.

And for those who are grieving a baby they never got the chance to meet.

But this run is also for me.

After my miscarriage, I felt like I lost a part of myself. My mental health took a real hit, and I'm still trying to find my way back to myself again.

Running has always given me something to focus on. It's time outside, time to breathe, time to clear my head and time where I can just put one foot in front of the other.

I know this run won't magically fix everything, but I hope it will be another step towards rebuilding my mental health, finding some strength again and reminding myself that I can keep moving forward — both literally and emotionally.

And I won't be doing it alone.

My running companion, Rex, will be absolutely thrilled to be back running long distances again. 🐾

Rex has been my emotional support dog through everything I've been going through. During the days when leaving the house felt impossible, when I was overwhelmed by grief and couldn't quiet my thoughts, he was there. He didn't need to understand what had happened — he just stayed beside me.

So it feels fitting that he'll be by my side for this run too.

I'm doing this to raise money for SANDS, to help fund essential support and resources for families and professionals who need them most.

I know that no amount of money can take away the pain of losing a baby. But if the money I raise can help another parent feel a little less alone, provide something a family desperately needs, or help someone access support during one of the darkest times of their life, then every step of this run will be worth it.

I'll be completing a 10K run, although because I'm running again, I'll need to complete the full distance on a different date. But whenever and wherever I complete it, every kilometre will have a meaning behind it.

This run is for the babies.

The babies who were loved, even if only for a short time.

The babies who were wanted.

The babies whose little lives mattered.

And it's for every parent who has had to carry the weight of losing them.

If you're able to donate, no matter how small the amount, I would be incredibly grateful.

If I raise more than my target, nothing would make me happier. But honestly, raising any amount and being able to donate to a charity that supports families through baby loss would mean so much to me.

Thank you for reading my story, for supporting me, and for helping me turn some of my own heartbreak into something that might help somebody else.

And to my little baby — although I never got to meet you, hold you or watch you grow, you were loved. You will always be a part of our story.

This one's for you. 🤍

For the babies we never got to meet, but will never forget.

I’ve committed to taking part in Sands Ribbon Run which takes place during Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15 October) for every much-loved baby sadly not here today.

Sands ensure that everyone affected by the loss of a baby gets the support they need and deserve when facing the toughest of times. They campaign for change, provide training for midwives and healthcare professionals, and support research so that fewer babies die and so that less families experience the tragedy of losing their baby. Anything you are able to donate means so much.

Thank you. 🫶🏻