Amber Buckingham

I’m walking 100K in March in memory of my son, Beaux

In December 2023, we met our son.

And then we lost him.

Beaux Jimmy Painter.

Our baby. Our whole world. Gone forever in the split of a second.

There are no neat words for what that does to you. No way to explain the silence that follows. The empty car seat. The plans that disappear overnight. We walked into the hospital one family and walked out changed forever.

Beaux existed. He is loved beyond measure. And he will always be our son.

In March, I’m walking 100km for him.

Not because 100km sounds impressive.

But because grief needs somewhere to go.

Every mile will be for Beaux. For the weight of missing him. For the love that didn’t stop when his heart did. I will be walking with his little brother, Sutton, who is now 8 months old. One hand on the pram. One hand holding onto Beaux’s memory. This is what our life looks like now — moving forward while carrying what we lost.

I’m raising money for Sands because when you lose a baby, you enter a world you never knew existed. Sands supports families through that heartbreak. They offer bereavement support, community, and they work to improve maternity safety so fewer families have to experience this pain. Their work matters. It matters deeply.

If you feel able to donate or share, it would mean so much to us. I’ll be updating throughout March — the good days, the hard days, and the miles in between.

I don’t get to watch my son grow up.

But I do get to say his name.

I do get to honour him.

I do get to carry him.

And I will.

Every step of the way. 

🤍