September Will Always Be His Month: My journey through Grief, Music and Angels

September Will Always Be His Month: My Journey Through Grief, Music and Angels

23rd September 1993.

There are dates in our lives that become part of us forever.

For me, this is one of them.

It is the day my son was born.

Every September, while the world carries on turning and another autumn begins, my heart remembers. It remembers a little boy, a birthday, that is also an anniversary of a life and all the hopes and dreams that came and went with him.

Those who have this knowledge know that when you lose a child, grief doesn't simply disappear with time. It breaths beside you.

You learn to live two lives, the physical one with others and then the one in spirit with your child.

There are days when it whispers quietly in the background and days when, without warning, it walks straight back into the room and sits beside you.

Birthdays are a timely reminder of what might have been, the word difficult does not quite cover the emotions that I have been through over the last 33 years.

I find myself thinking about the age he would be now, the person he might have become, and all the ordinary moments we never got to have.

There is a lifetime contained within the words "what if?"

But over the years, I have also learned that love doesn't end when a life ends.

Love has to go somewhere.

And perhaps some of mine found its way into my work.

What Angel Voice UK Means to Me

People know me today through Angel Voice UK and my work as a singing and vocal coach.

They see the lessons, choirs, performances, workshops, laughter and occasionally the wonderful chaos that comes with bringing lots of singers together!

But underneath all of that is something much deeper.

Angel Voice UK has never simply been about teaching people to sing.

It's about helping people find their voice.

It's about the child who doesn't believe they're good enough.

The adult who has spent decades being afraid to sing in front of anyone.

The person who has lost confidence somewhere along life's journey.

It's about creating a place where somebody can walk through the door feeling unsure of themselves and gradually discover:

"Actually, I can do this."

The word Angel has enormous meaning in my life.

And as my work has grown, Angel Voice UK has become a place where I can pour love, encouragement and hope into other people.

Music has an extraordinary ability to reach places words sometimes cannot.

I know that personally.

Singing doesn't erase grief. Nothing could.

But music gives emotion somewhere to go.

Sometimes we sing because we're happy.

Sometimes we sing because we're hurting.

Sometimes we sing because there simply aren't words big enough for what we're carrying.

And sometimes, through helping somebody else find their voice, we rediscover a little more of our own.

Turning September Into Something Positive

This September, I want to do something in my son's memory.

Rather than allowing his birthday month to be defined only by what I lost, I want to use it to create something meaningful for other families.

That's why I'm raising money for Sands.

Sands supports people affected by pregnancy and baby loss and works to save babies' lives and improve maternity safety.

Nobody expects to become part of the community of parents who know what it means to lose a baby or child.

You don't prepare for that world.

But when the unimaginable happens, having people who understand, who will listen and who will walk alongside you matters enormously.

So throughout September, and particularly as 23rd September approaches, I will be remembering my son by doing something that reflects the way I try to live my life now:

Turning love into action.

For Every Parent Who Remembers

If you have lost a baby or child, you will have your own dates too.

A birthday.

An anniversary.

A due date.

A day everyone else may see as completely ordinary but which carries an entire universe of meaning for you.

I see you.

Our stories will all be different, but the love behind them is something we understand.

My son was born in 1993.

More than three decades later, I am still his mum.

That doesn't change.

His place in my story doesn't disappear because years have passed.

And this September, I want his birthday to help another parent, another family, another person who suddenly finds themselves walking a road they never expected to travel.

If you would like to support my fundraiser for Sands, whether it's £1, £5, £10 or simply sharing this page with somebody else, I would be incredibly grateful.

Every contribution matters.

Every conversation matters.

Every baby matters.

And every family deserves support.

On 23rd September, I will remember the day my son came into this world.

There will always be sadness attached to that date.

But there is also love.

So much love.

And I have discovered over the years that grief and love are not opposites.

Grief exists because love existed first.

Perhaps that's why I have spent so much of my life helping other people find their voices.

Perhaps some experiences change the direction of our lives in ways we don't understand until many years later.

Angel Voice UK carries a name that means far more to me than a business ever could.

And this September, one very special angel will be at the heart of everything I do.

Happy birthday, my beautiful sonbeam.

You are remembered.

You are loved.

And you always will be.

Blessings always from me your Mum

Thank you to everyone who has read this far your support and kindness means so much