Tara Hebberd

My story

I never expected my pregnancy journey to include the word ectopic. Like so many others, it began with hope and quiet excitement, imagining a future that felt real and close. Instead, my experience became one of sudden loss, fear, and heartbreak.

An ectopic pregnancy is something many people don’t fully understand until they experience it themselves. Alongside the devastation of losing a baby, there is the shock of medical urgency and concern for your own health. Everything can happen very quickly, leaving little time to process what is happening, emotionally or physically.

What made this loss especially difficult was how invisible it felt. Ectopic pregnancy is often spoken about in clinical terms, yet behind those words is deep grief. There can be an unspoken expectation to feel “lucky” just to be alive, while quietly carrying the pain of losing a much-wanted baby. But my baby mattered, and so did my grief.

Finding Sands was a lifeline during this time. It was a place where my loss was acknowledged and my baby was recognised. I didn’t have to explain or justify my feelings—I could simply be honest about the pain I was carrying. Knowing others understood helped me feel less alone.

Healing after ectopic pregnancy doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning how to live with loss and love side by side. Some days are manageable, others are heavy, and both are okay. My baby will always be part of my story and my heart.

I’m sharing my experience to help break the silence around ectopic pregnancy. These losses deserve compassion, understanding, and space. If you’re reading this and this is part of your story too, please know your baby mattered, your feelings are valid, and you are not alone.

Thank you to Sands for supporting those affected by ectopic pregnancy and for creating a community where our babies are remembered and our voices are heard