Angie McKenna

A Personal Journey

If you’ve ever experienced the heartbreaking loss of a loved one, you know the feeling of being shattered. It's as if a part of you has been ripped away. Facing death is something no one wants, and losing someone close feels like losing pieces of yourself.

That's why this sculpture resonates with so many grieving hearts. Called "Melancolie," it captures the essence of grief without a single word, leaving those in mourning in awe.

"Melancolie" stands by the shores of Lake Geneva in Switzerland, symbolising grief in a world that never stops. It's said that a picture is worth a thousand words, but this sculpture speaks volumes.

The small park where this sculpture resides captures the true desolation and loneliness of grief. The gaping hole represents the toll of grief, leaving one as just an outward shell going through the motions of life. The slumped head, gazing into its empty core, resonates deeply with many, reflecting the sorrow and loss that consumes those in mourning.

This sculpture represents not just parents grieving a child but anyone experiencing deep loss. Its power lies in its ability to connect with people at different stages of grief, all without changing its form.

I understand this deeply. Thus year marked 26 years since our daughter, Jenna, died during birth, and the wound from that loss will never fully heal. Jenna was a healthy, full-term baby girl, weighing 7lbs 9oz. She was born and died on her due date. The grief that followed was overwhelming. I had developed Pre-eclampsia without knowing it, which quickly escalated to HELLP Syndrome the day before her due date. Jenna died at 2:30 am on July 17th, 1999. By 6:00 am, I was rushed in for an emergency C-section, the doctors were losing me. Although I survived, for days, weeks, months, and even years afterward, I wished I had died too. The grief was overwhelming, but so was the guilt. Guilt that I hadn't insisted on being checked over two weeks before that fateful day. Guilt that I hadn't advocated more for myself the night I was admitted to the hospital. And guilt that I hadn't "fought" more to save my firstborn.

I have always been open about our loss. I talk about Jenna, the night she died, and the period following her death. I share the pain, anger, guilt, and overwhelming grief. But talking about child loss is not a welcome topic for everyone. People often feel awkward, unsure of what to say, how to react, or whether they should speak at all. By sharing my story, I might be able to help just one parent navigate their loss in a world where grief is a lone road that’s often invisible to the naked and unexperienced eye. By offering a listening ear, though not always an understanding one, as each grief journey is unique, I hope to provide some comfort and solidarity. Grief is deeply personal, and while no two experiences are the same, the act of sharing and listening can create a supportive space where healing can begin.

Grief, child loss, and mental health have long been taboo topics in the workplace. Only recently have we begun to see a shift in how these deeply personal and painful experiences are acknowledged and addressed. This change is crucial, as it allows those who are grieving to feel seen and supported rather than isolated and misunderstood.

It’s important to support men who have experienced child loss, as they often feel overlooked in these conversations. Many men may struggle with expressing their grief or feel pressure to stay strong for others.

Creating spaces for open dialogue, offering dedicated support groups, and encouraging emotional vulnerability can make a significant difference. It’s important to acknowledge their pain and provide them with resources to process their loss. By fostering an environment where men can share their experiences and seek help, we can ensure they don’t feel forgotten in their grief journey.

I share my story to break the silence around these experiences and encourage others to speak openly about their grief. By doing so, we can create a more compassionate and understanding environment. 

If you have been impacted by the loss of a child and don't know where to turn or don't feel ready to talk about your experience, SANDS, Tommy's, and The Miscarriage Association are all charities that provide support and information for grieving parents.

This year, we will once again celebrate and remember Jenna, and all the babies that were taken too soon, during our Starlight Walk.