Catherine Kiely

Unfortunately back in 2021 I lost my daughter Saoirse Rose Kiely.

In June 2021 I found out I was pregnant, myself and my partner were over the moon and so excited to begin our parenthood journey. Pregnancy was rough, I had terrible morning sickness and constantly felt unwell and exhausted, but I was so happy and honoured to be pregnant. But soon things started to change. At my 20 week scan we found out our little one was a girl! We were so excited but 2 weeks later I would be diagnosed with Pre Eclampsia. At the time I didn’t know much about this condition, except for the fact my mum had it when she was pregnant with my older sister. I spent a week in hospital not doing much and not having much done so I was discharged but I was sent for a scan the following week. Because there were still Covid restrictions in place I was the only one allowed in for the scan. I got to see my little girl again moving around but the person doing the scan was quiet and sent me back to the midwife. The midwife explained to me I had to go to the hospital as they found very little fluid around the baby. So off I went in the ambulance to the local hospital where my partner was able to meet me and be there with me, they checked if I was in labour, I was not. After a long discussion I was told I had to go to the other local hospital as they were more equipped for my situation. Once I was at the new hospital I settled and found myself living there for 5 weeks having weekly scans, daily dopplers, regular bloods and daily consultant meetings. My daughter was very small and was measuring 5 weeks behind her gestational age. And my consultant said that she needed to be at least 500g in weight in order for them to be able to help her if she was born so the best option was to leave her with me until she was big enough. But after 5 long weeks we lost our little girls heartbeat on December 10th 2021. And what was worse, I was alone and I had to call my partner to come to the hospital as quickly as possible so I could tell him the news in person and then I had to phone our families and tell them the news. We were heartbroken. The next step was labour. I was induced and gave birth to our daughter on Sunday December 12th 2021 for me it was the happiest day, I was finally able to meet my little girl and we were able to spend 3 full days with her before she was taken to the chapel of rest. I have never felt so much pain in my life having to leave my baby in the hospital. This is where I found out about sands and all the work that they do along with many other charities that have supported me for the last 3 years and being able to read the stories of other bereaved parents and trying to get better care for bereaved families.  I’ve also been very lucky to have one of the best bereavement midwives who still supports me to this day! I unfortunately have gone on the experience 2 miscarriages within the last year and although this is a different trauma to having a stillborn baby it still hurts and angers me that my body continues to fail me to be the mother I so wish to be. But I know that one day I will have a child of my own and by supporting Sands we are saving babies lives, and bettering the support bereaved families receive.